Question: Holy Spirit, I am getting in touch with a fear of not existing, which feels a little different than fear of death. Fear of death to me is fear of existence ending. This fear seems different. It seems to be fear of not existing now, and it seems to be deeply tied to the “eyes of others.” Is there anything you would share on this fear of not existing?
Answer: Looking to metaphysics and education (or intellect) for the answer to all of your questions is not helpful. It is not helpful because metaphysics is not truth. Metaphysics is the expression of ideas in form, and any expression of ideas in form, no matter how helpful they may be, is not truth. As I have told you before, there is no truth in the world. By this I mean that anything expressed in form is at best only an echo of or a reflection of truth, but it is not truth itself.
Truth itself is found in the formless, and although you will attempt to bring it back into form as words and ideas in order to share it, the words and ideas are only an expression of it and not It itself.
The fear of not existing is the fear of death, except that the fear of death is a projection of a current fear into the future. When you are in touch with the fear of not existing, you are realizing this is a current fear in the mind now. To project it as the possibility of death is a form of not recognizing the strength of this fear now.
As we have discussed, this fear drives you much more than you know. There are many, many ways that you try to prove your existence to yourself in the eyes of others, because seeing it there tells you that you do exist. The problem with this is that it is also projection. You have not truly gotten in touch with your existence by seeing it in the eyes of others. You have only covered up your fear by telling yourself that proof of your existence resides out there.
The only way to overcome your fear of not existing is to know thy Self. As long as you do not know you, you will continue to fear that you do not exist. You get in touch with you as you are by being willing to move from the form to the formless, for truth can only be found in the place where form is not.
To get in touch with the formless, start now. Turn your eyes inward. You may turn it on your breath if you want, but you must also realize that breath is still form. When you are in touch with your breath you are not in touch with the formlessness that you are, but you are turning in the right direction and that is a start. When you are in touch with your breath and you have relaxed with that, be willing to go in deeper…deeper to where there is no form.
The thinking mind is a distraction from the formless because the thinking mind is pure expression of form, but the thinking mind need not be seen as a block to formlessness. Anything seen as a block shall be experienced as a block, and the experience of a block will keep you from going where you want to go.
See the thinking mind as helpful…as a tool…as a friend. Trust it to coach you into the formless, which truly is beyond all form. Let go of the idea that you cannot experience formless and form simultaneously. You do this all of the time, for at some level you always experience you. Remember the example of dust on furniture. The thoughts or form is the dust. It need not be wiped away to experience the furniture, because the furniture is much more solid than the dust. You can experience the furniture while also touching the dust, but the focus must not be on the dust, because that will be upsetting to you and you will not notice the furniture.
Let the thinking mind help you by letting it calm you down. Let it remind you of your purpose. Let it be used to place your focus on the furniture. Then even while it continues with its helpful thoughts, which are form, set your heart and your mind on the formless, which is the furniture.
The formless cannot be described, but it can be known. It cannot be brought back into form, but it can be expressed. The real value in touching the formless is not sharing it. That is, the value is not sharing it at the level of form. The real value is knowing it. When you know the formless that you are, you can no longer be shaken by changing form. You cannot be bothered by that which you are not. You can experience the untrue and you can move in it as an expression of truth, but none of that takes away from or adds to what you are. When what you are is known, nothing else truly matters. And when what you are is known, you live in the world as an expression of light, which is communication of an idea of formless within form. This communication cannot give the experience of know thy Self, but it lives the experience of know thy Self so that the possibility of know thy Self is known, even within the expression of form. This wakes up the mind to itself by shining into where mind is looking, even though mind can never truly find itself there.
Question: Is there anything you would like to share with me and Laurent to help us with our “we-ness.”
Answer: Remembering the purpose of your being together is…above all else… important to the strength of “we”. You will experience resistance together as long as there remains some resistance in the mind, but when you remember your purpose the resistance will be experienced together. Remember that it is your oneness that rises to transcend all fears. Do not let your resistance take you to a place of “apart.” In “apart” you live within your fears. In oneness and partnership, you transcend them.
Holding hands is a strong symbol and very useful to the mind, because even in your resistance you know that you can hold hands. And you also realize that in holding hands, you know that current resistance, even if that resistance is experienced as fear or hatred…current resistance is being transcended because you have decided to hold hands.
Go now and love one another as I am loving you. In loving one another with My love, you truly choose to love thy Self.