Question: I’m seeing lots of ego in the mind as thoughts, and I am feeling a variety of emotions including sadness, desperation, hatred, resentment and fear. I am also experiencing moments of clarity, joy, and a general feeling of “its-all-perfect.” It also seems that new and exciting guidance is coming in quickly, and I am very excited to take all of these steps. I seem to alternate between the trust-mind and the fear-mind, and I’m noticing that the feeling that accompanies the fear-mind is imprisonment, while the feeling that accompanies the trust-mind is complete openness. It also seems that I cannot control the going back and forth right now, so I seem to have periods of feeling like I can breathe followed by periods of feeling like I can’t. When I am in trust-mind, it feels natural. But when I am in fear-mind, it feels real; thus the feeling of imprisonment.
I can feel that both fear and trust are present in my mind now, right this second, which explains the frantic going back and forth. What would you share now, if anything?
Answer: Looking at the mind is key. There is a great fear about looking at the mind, because there is a judgment that the mind is wrong or bad or inherently unworthy. You have been feeling lately that you are guilty for imagining bad things or for creating your own unhappiness by seeing through a selfish (or separate) perspective. When you see these realizations in the mind, you then want to feel better because you think feeling better is better (or good or worthy). What you really need to do here is look at this judgment of good and bad, and realize it is judgment of freedom, which is judgment of the Son of God.
I recommend slowness now. Slowness while observing is a peaceful way of experiencing fluctuations, and fluctuations must be seen. You can’t deny anything in the mind, which is why you must be willing to relax and experience it. As long as you deny it, it is still there, and it will persist in some form until it is embraced and accepted. To release it, you must love it, and you love it by letting it be exactly what it is. You don’t love it when you ask it to be different. You love it when you let it be what it is.
You are picking up on My guidance intuitively as you are stepping through this process. You are right to realize that you must let the thoughts go while deciding to be with the emotions. Continuing to believe the thoughts continues to recreate the experience. Letting go of the thoughts and being with the experience is accepting or embracing that which has already been created. It can also be called surrender to the moment, but you are only truly surrendered to a moment when you let it be exactly as it is without wishing it was different. (We’ve talked about this before. You can review that message it if is helpful, but more than the words, I want you to feel the energy of the message. The energy communicates to the mind in a way that words never can. Be willing to not understand intellectually, and trust that your feeling or intuition knows what to do. The more you trust your formless feeling, the more you are in touch with the guidance that gently comes from Me.)
Wait through this period, and continue to trust all things including the time you spend experiencing the fear-based mind.