Note from Regina: Before writing this message with HS, I had this clarity:
I Am = Existence
Ego = an experience that is different than I Am
therefore,
Ego = I Am not Existence
With this underlying belief, the ego cannot help but fear.
Question: Good morning, Holy Spirit. Please talk to me more about the fear of not existing. I feel like I am getting the edge of some important clarity, but I would like to talk to you so this clarity can be pulled more into the level of consciousness.
Answer: You are beginning to see that attaching your identity to the ego is a decision that must engender fear and suffering. And you can never be completely free of fear and suffering as long as your identity is attached there. For always, there will be some idea that threatens the idea of your existence, and always you will feel compelled to react to that.
Question: Right now I am seeing how true this statement is. I can feel total panic at the idea of some threats. I can feel lashing out in hatred at others. It seems that fear and hatred are the two primary responses to this fear, although those two responses can be numbed to the point that they are barely recognizable.
Answer: It is true that uncovering the ego can often result in feeling raw feelings that were not felt before, but some people have always felt the raw feelings and only the reasons for the feelings are covered up. They feel intense fear and hatred, but the reason for the emotions is put “out there.” You are uncovering the ego when you are in touch with the raw emotions and looking at the ideas that cause the effects of those feelings.
Question: Ok. So we need to look at cause and effect together before we can truly say that we see the ego. Until then, it is still hidden.
Answer: The ego is hidden in some very creative ways, so your willingness to see it must be very great if you are to see clearly all of the ways you have tricked yourself.
Metaphysical studies are helpful, but the primary purpose of those studies is to bring your willingness into alignment with your true desire using the tool of intellectual-awareness. But this work cannot be done if you remain at the level of intellect. You must place the desire for intellectual-controlling aside and be willing to understand through awareness.
Awareness-understanding is seeing. It is experiencing for oneself. You can have awareness-understanding without intellectual-understanding and it is still pure understanding. But if you have intellectual-understanding without awareness-understanding, you do not understand at all.
You must see what you are doing, and you can only see when you truly desire to see. Intellectual-understanding isn’t truly needed at all, although it can be helpful in increasing your desire.
Question: Ok. And I can see that the greatest obstacle to seeing is fear.
Answer: Yes, and fear comes from the judgment you are wrong.
Question: Alright. Well as you know, I seem to go through periods of being very conscious of fears and through periods of being less conscious. Right now I am in a period of being more conscious, and it’s very difficult. What would you recommend, both to me and my partner?
Answer: Remember that your purpose is to see. Become very focused on the idea that you want to see, and that will help to overcome the desire not to see. Be willing to be slow and patient. You can be clearly focused without frantic searching. Don’t forget to rest and breathe, even as you are overcome by feelings that are the effect of believing illusion.
Sometimes you seem very lost. When you are lost, just rest and wait. Rest and wait as long as it takes, and avoid acting or making decisions from there.
When you feel the peace and knowing of clarity, act and move from there.
When you are lost in confusion you are not clear. Don’t listen to your mind then.
When you are clear, trust your knowing. Do not doubt when you know.
Question: You’ve been asking us to get in touch with our true Self, but I find this very hard to do in the midst of so much fear.
Answer: When you are hearing “rest and wait,” you are hearing the Voice of Peace and you are in touch. So stay focused on the “rest and wait,” and let everything else just be. Stay slow. In slowness, you listen to the quietness because the intent is aligned.
Question: Anything else?
Answer: I’m giving you everything. Stay focused on the desire to see. Stay slow. Stay quiet. Hold hands and love one another. The ego has set up strong defenses that you are not yet seeing, but through your willingness and with the help of a strong, loving partnership, you shall see.
Question: The partnership isn’t necessary, is it?
Answer: This partnership has the potential of being very, very helpful if you both choose to see it that way. Do not underestimate the helpfulness you bring to each other. Do not let the mind tell you that “out” is a better way. The part of the mind that wants “out” is fear. The part of the mind that judges and hates is fear also. Learn not to listen to fear, and you will more easily know the unblinded guidance of your heart.